21
Mar 13

FEATURE: Bring sexy back to bed

Yep, this is exactly how it looks before going to bed every night.  In your dreams.  Image from Goodshoot/Jupiterimages/Thinkstock.

Yep, this is exactly how it looks before going to bed every night. In your dreams. Image from Goodshoot/Jupiterimages/Thinkstock.

Gentlemen, if we were to take a random poll as to what you found sexy for a woman to wear to bed, we are pretty sure we’d get some very decisive answers.

Lingerie.  Lace bra and panties.  A nightie.  Anything from Victoria’s Secret.

On the other hand, if we were to ask you what women found sexy for a man to wear to bed, you would probably be stumped.

And no, you’re old college shirt and basketball shorts do not count as sexy.

So to save you all from embarrassment, we decided to get our group of 4 female advisors together once more and asked them what they thought was sexy for men to wear to bed.

To recap - we have Lisa, a well-travelled, high level executive who works in a multi-national company; Tammy, a part-time model and media executive; Ryelle, a marketing director and designer; and… my wife.

Here’s what they had to say:

Lisa: “Go Shirtless”

Let’s be honest… women like to see their men naked just as much as men like to see their women naked.

But should you want to don something rather than nothing, start here:

While you may want to put some clothes on, I’m a big fan of men having their shirt off at all times.

Whether you go for lounge pants or boxer briefs there is nothing sexier than a man with his shirt off (of course, it helps if you somewhat resemble the men in these pictures):

While I’m a huge fan of black as a color for any occasion (black cars, black clothes, black underwear), I would not be afraid of other colors:

Also important to note, like the clothes you wear out on the town - the clothes you wear at home should fit just as well and underwear is no place to skimp - so look toward your favorite designers or at the very least, quality fabric:

In the end, it all makes you look and feel better, and who doesn’t want that?

Tammy: “NO tighty whities!!!”

Of course I love a man who’s comfortable enough to sleep in his birthday suit, but if he had to wear clothes, then I’d like him to wear boxer briefs to show off his muscular legs and butt.

Lesson here: less is more (and I don’t mean thongs).  No shirts and definitely NO tighty whities!!!

Ryelle: “A robe with nothing under is sexy…”

A robe with nothing under is sexy when you’re on a romantic getaway or lounging around on a private yacht, Bond style.

Robes have a sense of mystery and timeless suave. Always choose silk. This natural material screams quality and sexiness. Avoid cotton, fleece or Hefner velvet – they’re too bulky and scream “grandpa”.

For an everyday look, these look great with abs and swimmer’s legs. Physique is everything when trying to pull off the trunk style:

I’ve never been a boxers or briefs type of person. I appreciate smooth lines and the power of Lycra to display the beauty of the human body.

Maybe it was Mark Walhberg or model Boris Kodjoe who influenced the classic Calvin look for me. Choose microfiber fabric in dark colors. The trunk style provides a more modern cut that isn’t too skimpy and isn’t too long that it looks like football uniform spandex shorts.

My Wife: “Pajama Pants.”

In conclusion, we have made the following realizations after writing this article.

  • First, we need to get rid of our old basketball shorts as sleepwear.
  • Second, boxers or regular briefs are not a good look for sleeping in.
  • Finally, we all need to work out to pull these looks off.  A lot.

18
Mar 13

GEAR: VSTR Nomadic Backpack

VSTR – Nomadic Pack from Monster Children TV on Vimeo.

One of the tenets of Essential Style for Men?

Having fun.

And we’re not exclusive to having fun simply by going out, dressing well and hanging out with your friends.

Part of having fun to us is having a hobby, experiencing the world and also living a healthy lifestyle.

The only downside?  Having to carry a lot of shit around.

VSTR Nomadic Backpack image from http://vstr.com/tag/nomadic/.

VSTR Nomadic Backpack image from http://vstr.com/tag/nomadic/.

There are a lot of backpacks out there, but the VSTR Nomadic Pack is one that you can use to carry almost everything you need (and stuff you probably don’t need) for an excursion outdoors.

It even includes a hammock (yup, you read that right).

Here’s a short description from an article on BlessThisStuff.com:

This great looking backpack is the result of a collaboration between  surf lifestyle brand VSTR and NYC creative studio Partners & Spade.  Named the Nomadic Pack, the backpack was designed to withstand long periods of traveling, and  is big enough to pack a lot of gear. The bag also accommodates an  included detachable messenger laptop bag, and a lightweight stowable  hammock. The bag will be available for purchase in June exclusively  through Partners & Spade and VSTR online for $395.

Personally, if I were to purchase this bag, it would be full of the following gear:

  • Wetsuit
  • Booties
  • A change of clothes
  • Beach volleyball gear
  • Surf wax
  • A beach volleyball
  • Deoderant (hey, you never know)
  • Lots of things to drink (non-alcoholic)

And here are the clothes we would wear to match:

For more information on VSTR, you can check out their official website at http://vstr.com/.


13
Mar 13

ICON: Exteta

Let’s talk about your backyard for a minute.

Have you ever wished the same amount of time and effort you put into the interior of your house was also placed into the exterior area of your home?

Are you a multi-millionaire eccentric who owns an island?

Do you want a little slice of heaven when you’re hanging out outside?

Fear not, ladies and gentlemen, we have the outdoor solution for you: Exteta.

Exte-what?

Exteta.  They’re a design company out of Italy that makes some of the finest outdoor pieces in the world, from what they term “micro architectures” (mini, stand alone architectural spaces) to unbelievably beautiful outdoor furniture.

From the official Exteta website:

As from today, style is outdoors. Exteta® is an innovative system designed to furnish outdoor spaces with the same attention to detail so far reserved for interior decor. Exteta® stems from the deep-rooted Italian tradition of design and workmanship, bringing beauty, elegance and total originality outdoors.

We have three favorites that we would love to feature in our backyard given the means and opportunity (and if we had a backyard of our own in the office).

Exteta Zen Bathtub Cube
http://www.exteta.it/collection_exteta_Zen_Bathtub_Cube.asp

The most ballingist shit on the planet.  Image from http://www.exteta.it/collection_exteta_Zen_Bathtub_Cube.asp.

The most ballingist shit on the planet. Image from http://www.exteta.it/collection_exteta_Zen_Bathtub_Cube.asp.

We first got a glimpse of this baby in Robb Report’s premiere issue of Home & Style and quickly made us wish we owned our own island a la ESM Icon Richard Branson.

Primarily because it would be awesome to take a bath with your significant other (or several significant others, if you’re nasty) out in nature.

Naked.

Imagine this outside your multi-million dollar pad.  While it's snowing.  Image from http://www.exteta.it/collection_exteta_Zen_Bathtub_Cube.asp.

Imagine this outside your multi-million dollar pad. While it’s snowing. Image from http://www.exteta.it/collection_exteta_Zen_Bathtub_Cube.asp.

Well maybe not totally naked.  You’d be wearing a pair of sunglasses to protect your eyes and a robe for when you’re done:

Here’s a little more information from Exteta’s official website:

Handcrafted Canadian Red Cedar or Mahogany Sapelli in solid wood, stainless steel water-bearing structure, capacity of resistance to vertical loads resulting from snow, 400kg/sq of capacity on the floor.

Our only logisticial question would be – how would one get water piping out to a cliff on our private island?  And, of course, how would we be able to afford our own private island?

Minor details.

Exteta Zen Mini Pool Deck
http://www.exteta.it/collection_exteta_Zen_Mini_Pool_Deck.asp

Exteta Zen Mini Pool Deck image from http://www.exteta.it/collection_exteta_Zen_Mini_Pool_Deck.asp.

Exteta Zen Mini Pool Deck image from http://www.exteta.it/collection_exteta_Zen_Mini_Pool_Deck.asp.

Admittedly, when we first saw a picture of the Exteta Zen Mini Pool Deck, we thought to ourselves, “It’s kind of like having your living room outside… with a jacuzzi“.

The great thing about this setup is the fact the entire structure has everything – a deck, a bed, a shower and a jacuzzi.

it almost makes you wish it had wheels so you could move it around to different places in your backyard.

Or to your friend’s house.

Not sure if you'd want this out in the middle of the woods.. unless you wanted to have bears hang out in your new outdoor hot tub.  Image from http://www.exteta.it/collection_exteta_Zen_Mini_Pool_Deck.asp.

Not sure if you’d want this out in the middle of the woods.. unless you wanted to have bears hang out in your new outdoor hot tub. Image from http://www.exteta.it/collection_exteta_Zen_Mini_Pool_Deck.asp.

According to the official Exteta website:

Outdoor furniture hand made in which the uniqueness of the Canadian Red Cedar combined with a unique way to live the outdoor wellness at minipool, recreating in a single composition a dream island.

Here’s what we would wear to this little portable oasis:

Exteta Tea House
http://www.exteta.it/collection_exteta_thouse.asp

Exteta Tea House image from http://www.exteta.it/collection_exteta_thouse.asp.

Exteta Tea House image from http://www.exteta.it/collection_exteta_thouse.asp.

Have you always wanted an outdoor space for couples massages?

Us too!

Exteta can help us create this fantasy outdoor space with their Tea House structure, which can be converted to an inside/outside space pictured above, or you can make it one large outdoor space with sofas.

Extra bonus - if you could have sushi service 24/7 as well.  Exteta Tea House image from http://www.exteta.it/collection_exteta_thouse.asp.

Extra bonus – if you could have sushi service 24/7 as well. Exteta Tea House image from http://www.exteta.it/collection_exteta_thouse.asp.

We like the inside/outside space.  And we’d set it up exactly like these pictures.

With masseuses on staff 24/7.  (Note: Massage tables not included.)

We would practice our kung-fu before entering the Tea House.  If we knew kung-fu.  Exteta Tea House image from http://www.exteta.it/collection_exteta_thouse.asp.

We would practice our kung-fu before entering the Tea House. If we knew kung-fu. Exteta Tea House image from http://www.exteta.it/collection_exteta_thouse.asp.

And these robes and towels would be standard issue:

Since we’re dreaming, would it be too much to ask for 24/7 butler service to be included with these micro architecture structures?

For more information on Exteta, you can check out their official website at http://www.exteta.it.

For those of you interested in pricing, the Exteta Zen Bathtub Cube runs about $112,000 according to Robb Report Home & Style.


04
Mar 13

FEATURE: Ride Like a Badass

Just a typical Saturday for the folks from Icon 1000.  Shooting guns, riding bikes and being general badasses.  Image from http://icon1000.com.

Just a typical Saturday for the folks from Icon 1000. Shooting guns, riding bikes and being general badasses. Image from http://icon1000.com.

Last week, we hit up our friends over at Icon Motorsports to see if they had anything new they wanted to feature on ESM.

I think we may have been inspired by the folks over at Silodrome who have been featuring a lot of the Icon 1000 women’s gear.

When the Icon guys got back to us, they let us know they had a lot of new gear coming out in a few months they would like to feature and instead of doing each item one at a time, we decided to wrap it up in one simple, thematic package:

How to dress to ride like a badass.

Which we thought was too long, so we renamed it Ride like a Badass.

Let’s start off with something very simple, inexpensive and gives the most bang-for-your-buck increase in badassery – the Icon 1000 Highway Hanky:

Become a bandit badass.  Image from http://icon1000.com.

Become a bandit badass. Image from http://icon1000.com.

According to the official Icon 1000 website:

It is no way to live: dust-choked nostrils and lungs backfiring from the spent fumes of open pipes. The Highway Hanky™ addresses these ‘particulate’ needs of the modern rider with a distinctly low-tech solution. A finely woven cotton outer layer combined with a microfleece lining allow the hanky to be worn as either a mask or as an insulating neck gasket. Equally adept for robbing stagecoaches, reducing inhaled dust, or preventing ride-numbing neckline drafts, the Highway Hanky provides a barrier against those that would do you harm. Available in Rat Patrol and Genuine / $15

Now we here at ESM do not recommend robbing banks, but it sure as hell makes you feel like a badass knowing people wouldn’t be able to ID you if you did.

Next, let’s move on to the piece-de-resistance of our badass ensemble, the Airframe Artist Series Manic Helmet from Icon 1000:

Be a spawn of satan badass.  Image from http://icon1000.com.

Be a spawn of satan badass. Image from http://icon1000.com.

This particular design has Spawn, T-Rex and Mad Max written all over it.  From the official Icon 1000 website:

Those of a certain age may recognize the snarling chin bar grin from the ICON archives. Gone are the fiesta of colors, the greens and reds and yellows that made the Manic such a hit with the K-5 crowd. What is left is a pure skeletal form that reveals the Manic’s true colors. A glossy bone matrix overlaid in black lines of nightmarish demarcation. Frantic scratchings of one possible future. The Construct Manic: an ICON 1000 interpretation of beast mode. Shown with included Dark Smoke Shield / $350

A short while back, we featured the Icon 1000 Beltway Jacket, which in itself was already pretty badass.  But let’s say you wanted a riding jacket with no significant markings on it?  We say go with the Icon 1000 Akorp Jacket:

Be an Eastern European hit man badass.  Image from http://icon1000.com.

Be an Eastern European hit man badass. Image from http://icon1000.com.

This jacket says “Eastern European hit squad” in a very subtle way.  It also has a bunch of pockets to store your, um, gear.  From the official Icon 1000 website:

Brutally classy, the Akorp evokes an air of civility even in times of rampant chaos. Boasting a Highland coated canvas chassis with premium Brazilian cowhide overlays, the Akorp stands primed for engagement, but only after first exchanging a pre-battle handshake. A unique belted rear adjustment system keeps the front free of obstructions while providing a waisted fit. The #10 tactical black oxide YKK® main zipper is covered with a magnetic closure storm flap. D3O® elbow and shoulder impact protectors join a Viper CE certified back impact protector to help cushion the blow from untimely dismounts. A removable vest liner and black oxide hardware complete the understated military persona of the Akorp. S-2X $515 / 3X-4X $560

Looking to add some panache and color to your outfit?  Try copping yourself some red Icon 1000 Beltway Gloves:

Be a badass who is so badass he can wear red gloves badass.   Image from http://icon1000.com.

Be a badass who is so badass he can wear red gloves badass. Image from http://icon1000.com.

From the official Icon 1000 website:

The limitless expanse of empty tarmac is both a path for escape and an empty stretch of horrors. Prepare for the one-two punch of reality with the ICON 1000 Beltway Glove. Abrasion-resistant French cowhide chassis and D3O® impact protectors are infused in a classic styling to evoke an era that few remember, but of which many dream. The floating knuckle and gathered elastic provide increased dexterity while the mid-length gauntlet accepts either over- or under-sleeve fitment, depending on your jacket. Available in Black, Red, and Bone. $130

Don’t worry, if you can’t pull of the red gloves, they make ‘em in black too.

Finally, your outfit wouldn’t be complete unless you had some ass-kicking boots to match.  We like the Icon 1000 El Bajo Boot:

"Don't call me shorty" badass.  Image from http://icon1000.com.

“Don’t call me shorty” badass. Image from http://icon1000.com.

Just imagine your scene in the movie where you get off your bike and do the slow walk to the bar.  To kick some ass.

El Bajo – literally translated it means ‘The Short One.’ Short perhaps in overall height, but never in performance or steez. Built on the same Goodyear™ welt bottom unit as its five-buckle Elsinore brother, El Bajo provides all the OG moto-presence but in a reduced two-buckle silhouette. Metal post fasteners, heavy top-grain leather chassis, and reinforced toe box and heel make for a serious piece of riding footwear. El Bajo, always up to the challenge. Available in Johnny Black and oiled Brown. $190

Our suggestion – just disregard the English translation when thinking about how badass you are.

So there you have it – your list of badass gear for riding is now complete thanks to the folks from Icon Motorsports.  For more information about Icon 1000, you can visit their official website at http://icon1000.com/.


28
Feb 13

GEAR: BeoPlay A9

One of the most beautiful speakers ever built.  Image from http://www.beoplay.com.

One of the most beautiful speakers ever built. Image from http://www.beoplay.com.

Of all the publications we subscribe to, nothing is more satisfying than receiving a new issue of the Robb Report.

It’s probably because of the aspirational aspect of things – not like we can really afford half of what’s published – or perhaps it’s the fact they find some of the coolest shit around.

In the most recent issue of Robb Report Home & Style, they featured the BeoPlay A9.  From the picture in the magazine, it looked like a giant empty circular canvas.  In fact, it’s a high-end wireless speaker.

The BeoPlay A9 in its natural setting.  Image from http://www.beoplay.com.

The BeoPlay A9 in its natural setting. Image from http://www.beoplay.com.

As we checked out the official BeoPlay A9 website, we found some really amazing features.

For example, there isn’t a traditional volume control.  Instead, the speaker uses what Bang & Olufsen calls “Magic Touch” volume control, where you simply “just swipe your hand gently sideways along the top and the volume will increase.”

Additionally, the BeoPlay A9 is a complete sound package where you don’t need an amplifier, extra speakers or cables.  “All you need is a phone, a tablet or a music player that streams music through Apple Airplay or the open streaming standard DNLA” (whatever that means).

Not enough to convince you of the BeoPlay A9′s awesomeness?

The BeoPlay A9 also won an IF Produce Design Award as well as the CES “Best of Innovations” award for high performance home audio.

Of course, being the superficial bastards we are, all we really care about is how cool the thing looks.  Being something built by Bang & Olufson is just a major plus.

Having this many BeoPlay A9's is like having your own little radar station at home.  For just under $19,000 if  you actually bought 7 of them.  Image from http://www.beoplay.com.

Having this many BeoPlay A9′s is like having your own little radar station at home. For just under $19,000 if you actually bought 7 of them. Image from http://www.beoplay.com.

So how much for the BeoPlay A9?  You can customize and pick one up on the BeoPlay A9 website for $2,699.

In our opinion – it’s a small price to pay for being the coolest kid on the block.

For more information on the BeoPlay A9, you can visit the official BeoPlay A9 website at http://www.beoplay.com/Products/BeoplayA9#at-a-glance.

 


27
Feb 13

FEATURE: Welcome to Loafer Heaven

"Is this heaven?" Yes it is.  It's loafer heaven.  Image from Brand X Pictures/Thinkstock.

“Is this heaven?” Yes it is. It’s loafer heaven. Image from Brand X Pictures/Thinkstock.

If you’re a regular subscriber to GQ like us, you’ve read one of their most recent articles extolling the virtues of owning loafers.

Loafers with jeans, loafers with suits, loafers with shorts… hell you can wear loafers with no pants at burning man.

So today, instead of boring you with these long and boring things called “words”, we decided to pick the best loafers available for us on 72 Lux (and ready for purchase on ESM).

We picked only the best of the best (in our opinion) and the options range from Kenneth Cole to Salvatore Ferragamo to Tom Ford.

We picked camo.  We picked brown.  We picked suede.

Now all you need to do is pick the one that fits your budget, style and outfit for this weekend.

Check them out below:

Our personal favorites? All the Prada loafers.

We just need to donate a few body parts before we commit to making the purchases.


20
Feb 13

FEATURE: The Esquire Network

This could be the next big television network.  Image from Esquire.com.

This could be the next big television network. Image from Esquire.com.

Hey dude, think you can keep a secret?

Yeah?

There is one little secret we’ve had for ESM:  It’s the dream to eventually make it a TV show.  One that features the best in a man’s lifestyle but one that doesn’t take itself too seriously.

We imagined it to be a mix between Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations and Top Gear.  With lots of alcohol.  Suits.  Beautiful women.  And modified high end sports cars.

It was a crazy dream.  One that we didn’t think was possible.  One that we kept in the back of our minds.

But then we were watching the G4 Network and saw an ad stating G4 was going to become the Esquire Network.

The Esquire Network.  Hell yeah.  Image from http://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2013/02/12/esquire-network-a-bravo-for-men-only-a-hit-will-decide-that.

The Esquire Network. Hell yeah. Image from http://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2013/02/12/esquire-network-a-bravo-for-men-only-a-hit-will-decide-that.

Of course, we were intrigued.

Here’s a little excerpt from an article on IGN.com:

After news leaked about G4’s rebrand back in December, NBCUniversal have made it official today with their announcement that as of April 22nd, the channel will become the Esquire Network.

While the press releases says, “Esquire Network will expand on G4’s foundation of games, gear and gadgets to reflect the broad range of interests, passions and aspirations that define men today,” none of the programming looks to have a gaming angle, on the heels of the cancelations of Attack of the Show and X-Play.

The New York Times had more details about this new network in an article they released on February 10:

For viewers of the G4 network, the change will mean a sharp shift from the gaming-centered programming that attracted some men to shows that will draw an audience that NBC executives are persuaded Esquire stands for: “The modern man, what being a man today is all about,” as Adam Stotsky, the general manager of the new network, said.

Specifically, NBC is hoping to capture a more educated, affluent, sophisticated male viewer, who is not being served, as its research concluded, by the male-oriented, nonsports programming on cable channels like Discovery and Spike. “Much of today’s programming targets men in a one-dimensional way,” Mr. Stotsky said, with what he called “down-market shows” about “tattoos or pawn shops or storage lockers or axes or hillbillies.”

The Esquire Network will offer shows aimed at capturing other areas of interest, like cars, politics, world affairs, travel, fashion and cooking. David Granger, Esquire’s editor in chief, said he expected the programming to be “not duplicative of what readers find in the magazine, but in the same wheelhouse.”

So of course, at this point, we’re drooling at the possibilities.

Not only in the fact that our dreams now have a .000000000000000001 percent chance of happening, but in the fact there is going to be a network out there geared for guys like us.

You know, the guys who like to dress well, drive nice cars, appreciate the arts, beautiful women, a good meal yet still have a sense of humor about it all.

But simply announcing a partnership with one of the oldest publications in the world doesn’t guarantee success.  According to an article on USNews.com:

“They’re right that there is a niche out there,” says Robert Thompson, a professor of pop culture and television at Syracuse University. Esquire magazine’s perceived readership: middle-aged, educated, upper middle class men with a disposable income makes the brand attractive for television advertisers. “The idea is to deliver a premo demographic, but saying you are going to deliver that, and delivering that are two different things.”

Indeed, Thompson has a simple formula for successful niche cable channels: “Get two hit programs and everything will fall into place.” However, as the struggles of some heavily hyped cable ventures, like Oprah’s OWN channel, show, it’s easier said than done.

Many successful cable niche stations were once something different, until, on the process of their evolution, they stumbled upon a hit show or two that cemented their identity. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, for instance, defined Bravo in a way that allowed it to become the flamboyant reality TV Mecca it is now. It’s not entirely surprising then that Bonnie Hammer, the exec who manages Bravo, is also taking Esquire Network under her wing.

So….. they need a hit TV show.

That matches their network business plan and values.

Hmmm… I wonder where they can find a team of individuals that would could help make it work?

*cough* ESM *cough*

We had to try, right?

In any case, big ups to Esquire for taking such an amazing step in the right direction.

For more information on Esquire, you can check out their official website at http://www.esquire.com/.


19
Feb 13

DREAM GARAGE: Kuratas from Suidobashi Heavy Industry

We are officially living in the future.

A future where comic books are multi-million dollar movies, a future where everything is running on computers and a future where regular human beings can actually operate a “mech”.

For all those of you out there who don’t know what a “mech” or “mech warrior” is, it’s a human operated battle robot imagined up by popular Japanese cartoons and fictional stories.

Is your mind blown yet?

For anyone with a tiny budget of say – I dunno – $1.4 million dollars, you can now purchase the “Kuratas” from Suidobashi Heavy Industry.

The Kuratas Mech Warrior.  Image from http://suidobashijuko.jp.

The Kuratas Mech Warrior. Image from http://suidobashijuko.jp.

You can choose a plethora of options for the vehicle, from rocket launchers (which are basically water based) to gattling guns (which shoots BB’s) to bulletproof steel (just in case someone mistakes you for a real mech warrior).

Additionally, for luxury freaks like us, we would have our interior in leather and have the exterior paint customized (we personally like the gray and white colors).

You can also control your Kuratas through the onboard control system they call “V-Sido” or remotely through your phone or a Kinect system.

Here’s a little preview on how to control and drive a Kurata:

So for those of you who have that extra million dollars to spend on a new ride and already have your garage full of Bugattis, Aston Martins and Rolls Royces, maybe you should start thinking about something that would be able to get you out of the next apocalypse.

Just make sure to not use it for your next date. 

Kuratas image from http://suidobashijuko.jp.

Kuratas image from http://suidobashijuko.jp.

For more information on the Kuratas and Suidobashi Heavy Industry, you can check out their official site at http://suidobashijuko.jp.

Special thanks to thisiswhyimbroke.com for opening our eyes to this beast.


18
Feb 13

FEATURE: Dress like Stirling Archer

Learns how to dress like Archer on ESM.  Image from http://www.fxnetworks.com/archer/downloads.

Learns how to dress like Archer on ESM. Image from http://www.fxnetworks.com/archer/downloads.

Last weekend we had a two-day Archer TV show marathon on Netflix.

Two entire days of unadulterated, narcassistic, hilarious and well-dressed imaginary secret spy adventures in the comforts of our own home.

So awesome.

Over those two days, we also realized if we were to create an ESM cartoon, it would be Archer.  We wouldn’t change a thing.  Except maybe the fact Archer should be driving a nicer car than an El Camino.

So it got us to thinking – what if we really wanted to dress like the world’s most dangerous superspy?

And yes, we know Archer is a cartoon character.  But why not?

So we put together a list of potential outfits available for purchase on ESM based on our two-days of research:

Archer’s Sunglasses

Not sure who Archer’s stylist on the show is, but we’d like to salute them for selecting the simple, military-style specs he uses.  We’re guessing he’s using the ones from Randolph Engineering:

Archer’s Everyday Suits

Archer’s suits are fairly basic – 50′s inspired cuts, slim lapels, skinny ties with bar ties, a white pocket square and black shoes.

He usually sticks to gray hues, but we’ve taken some license and picked a slick blue suit that Archer would approve of.

Archer’s Tactical Wear

There will be a day when we will be able to shake the hands of the individuals responsible for the writing on Archer.

On that day, whoever invented the term “tactical turtleneck” will get an ESM star from us.  Because that shit is brilliant.

Unfortunately, turtlenecks are starting to get out of season, so we had to find some suitable replacements available for purchase now.

We also picked a few items as alternatives for when Archer is in warmer, more tropical climates.

Archer’s Formalwear

Archer typically only wears a white tux jacket for formal occassions.  Regardless of the season.

Unfortunately, we couldn’t find any for sale on 72 Lux, so we had to find the best alternative:

Archer’s Swimwear

Archer is no stranger to invading enemy yachts.

His choice of swimwear is very similar to those worn by James Bond in Casino Royale (the newer version).  Unfortunately, you either have to have 2% bodyfat or no shame whatsoever to sport the swimwear below.

Archer’s Robe

When Archer hangs around his million-dollar penthouse bossing his butler/babysitter around (while throwing clothes off the balcony), he only wears the best:

Archer’s Watch

We had to take a guess as to what a secret spy like Archer would wear, so we’ve picked two possible timepieces.

One for tactical missions:

And one to wear every day:

Rolex Deepsea Image from http://www.rolex.com/en#/rolex-watches/rolexdeepsea/introduction.

Rolex Deepsea Image from http://www.rolex.com/en#/rolex-watches/rolexdeepsea/introduction.

Archer’s Ride

Sorry FX writers, we can’t stand the El Camino.  We’d rather see Archer driving around in one of these babies instead:

2013 Superformance MK3 S/C 20th Convertible image from http://www.hillbankusa.com/inventory_list.aspx.

2013 Superformance MK3 S/C 20th Convertible image from http://www.hillbankusa.com/inventory_list.aspx.

Introducing the Superformance 20th Anniversary MKIII S/C, with Black with Gold Ghost Stripes & Gold Pin Stripes. Our idea for an upgrade to the Duchess.

For more information on Archer on FX, you can check out Archer’s official website at http://www.fxnetworks.com/archer.


14
Feb 13

GEAR: Sparrows Uncuff Link

Shackled by love.  Or for love.  Whatever.  Image from iStockphoto/Thinkstock.

Shackled by love. Or for love. Whatever. Image from iStockphoto/Thinkstock.

It’s Valentines Day.

You’ve done all your prep work by ordering flowers a week in advance.  You’ve had dinner reservations since December.  You just washed your car.

What other type of preparation needs to be done?

For all those guys out there who like to get… uh… freaky, we’ve got one last piece of hardware that can help you get out of certain “situations” – the Sparrows Uncuff Link.

So let’s say you’ve got a date.  Dinner goes well.  You go back to her place.  Shit gets crazy.  You get handcuffed.

You wake up and want to go home.

Unless you want to make it a one coyote kind of night, you can just reach for your Sparrows Uncuff Link and get the hell out of dodge.

Get out of your "predicament".  Image from http://www.sparrowslockpicks.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=link.

Get out of your “predicament”. Image from http://www.sparrowslockpicks.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=link.

Here’s more from the official Sparrows Lock Pick website:

Upon first glance, The Sparrows UNCUFF LINK appears to be a standard pair of cuff links. However, a covert, hidden handcuff key has been engineered in to the design. This concealed hand cuff key will to open almost all Standard Hand cuffs. It’s also designed to hold your French Cuffs closed. A must have for any international SPY or the average citizen looking for some styling carbon fiber inlaid cuff links that happen to open Hand cuffs.

*WARNING: The use of this product under some circumstances may result in you being shot.*

Now for those of you out there whose definition of “shit gets crazy” means “getting arrested”, we wouldn’t recommend using these lock picks to get you out of your situation.

Just call your lawyer.

Sparrows Uncuff Links look just like regular cuff links.  Image from http://www.sparrowslockpicks.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=link.

Sparrows Uncuff Links look just like regular cuff links. Image from http://www.sparrowslockpicks.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=link.

We’ve also picked out a nice outfit to match your new set of cufflinks for the night:

In reality, we’re just hoping the Uncuff Links will be more of a conversational topic versus an actual James Bond-type tool you will actually use.

But let us know if you do.

For more information on the Sparrows Uncuff Link, you can check out Sparrows Lock Picks official site at http://www.sparrowslockpicks.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=link.


13
Feb 13

FEATURE: Reiss

Admittedly, being on the West Coast has its disadvantages, especially when it comes to labels coming from across the pond.

New York always gets the brands first and it takes a little bit before a label establishes themselves in Los Angeles.

Case in point – TopShop is just opening their flagship store in L.A. this month.

Yeah dude, February 2013.   In fact, the Philippines had a TopShop store before Los Angeles.  Crazy.

But I digress.

Today we’re talking about another UK brand that has actually been in Los Angeles since 2007 but has remained (for us at least) under the radar – Reiss.

Reiss.com

Reiss.com

We heard about it for two reasons: 1) We can sell the brand on our website through our partnership with 72 Lux and 2) we saw recommended items from Reiss on David Gandy’s Style Guide for Men.

Personally, I’m a big fan of British brands and style.  Probably because I have a scary idol worship obsession with James Bond.  And Triumph motorcycles.  And Saville Row.  And James Bond.

And as you can see from the picture below, Reiss helps satisfies my need for British wares and looking awesome:

Image from reiss.com.

Image from reiss.com.

Pretty dope right?

Here’s a little excerpt about Reiss from their official website:

Since its foundation by David Reiss in 1971, Reiss has established a design philosophy centred on creating directional, design-led menswear, womenswear and accessories. With an uncompromising commitment to delivering innovative and original products it fuses exceptional design, quality and value.

Today Reiss is a highly respected, prominent business in the global fashion arena for both men and women. Its philosophy of holding creativity at its heart will guide Reiss through its international business development.

The Reiss customer looks for original and directional design with a strong focus on quality and detail. They expect impeccable service across all channels.

Reiss also has great pride in its celebrity following; from members of the Royal family to Hollywood stars, the Reiss offering appeals to the most stylish of celebrities.

Since we can sell Reiss products on ESM, we took the liberty of picking out your first outfit (which, again, you can buy on ESM… hint, hint).  We especially love the cream colored double monkstrap shoes.

We’ve officially found our latest obsession.

Keep coming back to the site as we will be featuring more items from Reiss to help you be a little more awesome on a daily basis.

(Note, we said more awesome. Because you already are awesome.)

For more information on Reiss, you can visit their official website at http://www.reiss.com/us/mens/.


08
Feb 13

FEATURE: Say “I love you.” To yourself.

Um, that's a good Valentine's gift too.  Image from Stockbyte/George Doyle/Thinkstock.

Um, that’s a good Valentine’s gift too. Image from Stockbyte/George Doyle/Thinkstock.

Let’s face it kids, dudes get the raw end of the deal when it comes to Valentine’s Day every year.

We have to make the reservations.  We have to order the flowers.  We have to find the perfect gift.

Or else.

But we here at ESM say stop all the madness.  Let’s turn Valentine’s Day on its head and flip the script.  Let’s create a new holiday tradition.

Let’s buy ourselves Valentine’s Day gifts.

We deserve it.

So below we’ve listed out things (and themes) for our Valentine’s Day gift giving this year.  Because Ms. Whitney Houston was on the money when she described “The Greatest Love of All”.  Make it happen and pamper yourself, gentlemen.

And for the women out there: consider this a gift guide for your man.

Valentine’s Gift Idea #1: Get yourself a new ride

What better to tell yourself “I love you” than buying yourself a new ride?

To keep in theme with the season, we suggest you get something bright, red and proportionate with your love (for yourself).  Double down with a set of super concave T7 DPE Wheels to make it extra spicy.

Lamborghini Murcielago with Super Concave T7 wheels image from www.dpe-wheels.com.

“For me?!?!?!”. Lamborghini Murcielago with Super Concave T7 wheels image from www.dpe-wheels.com.

Valentine’s Gift Idea #2: Get something in red.

Already have a car?  Why not get yourself something in red.

Since there’s no such thing as dude lingerie, we’ve picked some dude gear instead:

Valentine’s Gift Idea #3: Get something in leather.

And where better to get yourself something in leather than looking for something from Coach, one of the oldest purveyors of quality American leather goods around?

Valentine’s Gift Idea #4: Get something that makes you feel sexy.

Bros.  You know it’s only 3 months before pool season in Vegas.  It’s time to start thinking about getting off of your lazy asses and start working out.

We’ve picked out some sick workout gear to get you in the mood:

Valentine’s Gift Idea #5: Get something for singles awareness day.

Single and ready to mingle?  Think you’re going to get lucky by going out to your favorite spot on Valentine’s day?

We’ve got the outfit for you:

Valentine’s Gift Idea #6: Get some love.

Best. Valentine's Day gift.  Ever.  Image from iStockphoto/Thinkstock.

Best. Valentine’s Day gift. Ever. Image from iStockphoto/Thinkstock.

Looking for some unconditional love?

Go adopt a dog.  For the nearest pet adoption center near you, you can check out http://www.petfinder.com/.  Finding yourself a companion  will be a gift that keeps on giving.

And we hear chicks dig puppies…

You can also pick up some badass collars for your new love here: