Clint Eastwood's beard is only comparable to the Most Interesting Man's beard. If both beards wrestled, I wonder who would win?

The answer has two words: Dirty Harry.

The question:  why does Clint Eastwood deserve to be an ESM icon?

Born May 31, 1930, Clint Eastwood has played many roles idolized by men of multiple generations.  From The Man with No Name, to Dirty Harry, to the Unforgiven, each movie has made Clint Eastwood a bigger, badder ESM Icon.

Just check the beard and the cowboy hat.  How many dudes do you know can look as badass in those westerns than Clint Eastwood?  How many dudes can say “Do you feel lucky?” and not seem like a douche?  How many dudes can actually become a mayor of the town they live in without any political experience?

That's not the reason they call me "Dirty Harry", punk.

Here’s a little excerpt from his Wikipedia entry:

Eastwood was born in San Francisco, California, to Clinton Elias Eastwood Sr. (1906–1970), a steelworker and migrant worker, and Margaret Ruth Rutherford (1909–2006), a factory worker. He was a large baby (11 pounds and 6 ounces; 5.62 kg) and was named “Samson” by the nurses in the hospital. Eastwood has English, Scottish, Dutch, and Irish ancestry and was raised in a “middle class Protestant home”. His family moved often, as his father worked at different jobs along the West Coast, including at a pulp mill. The family settled in Piedmont, California, where Eastwood attended Piedmont Junior High School and Piedmont Senior High School. Later he transferred to Oakland Technical High School, where the drama teachers encouraged him to take part in school plays, but he was not interested. Eastwood held several jobs as he moved to different areas, including a paper carrier, grocer clerk, forest firefighter, and caddy.

After graduating high school in 1949, Eastwood intended to enter Seattle University and major in music, but in 1950, during the Korean War, he was drafted into the U.S. Army. He was stationed at Fort Ord where his certificate as a lifeguard got him appointed as a life-saving and swimming instructor. Eastwood safeguarded film and television actors who had joined the Army through the Special Services program, including John Saxon, David Janssen, and Martin Milner. In 1951, while on leave, Eastwood rode in a Douglas AD bomber that ran out of gas and crashed in the ocean near Point Reyes. After escaping the sinking fuselage, Eastwood and the pilot swam several miles to the shore.

Really?  He survived a plane crash and swam to shore.  Enough said.

He lives vicariously through himself.

Malin Akerman as Silk Spectre II.

It’s funny that I just came to this realization now.

We’ve got people as ESM Icons that do not exist in real life, so why not have the same rule apply for our Dime Piece series of articles?

I like to live by the same slogan.

Our first non-reality feature is Silk Spectre II from the Watchmen movie and graphic novel.

Why does she qualify for ESM Dime Piece status?  Check out our reasoning below:

1. Silk Spectre II is played by Malin Akerman
2. Tight yellow and black latex
3. She is a hot superhero

And last but not least is probably the most important reasoning of all: the sex scene in the movie.

I know, I know you can call me a dork, but for anyone who grew up reading comic books as a kid, their biggest fantasy was imagining their favorite female superhero hottie doing more than good.

Who knows what this might open up?  A reality based Archie comics?

We can only imagine.  Maybe we should call Digital Playground and pitch the storyline.

Would you let yourself get beat up by a chick that looked like this?

To get your own copy of the movie, check out the official Watchmen website.

Giving fanboys the opportunity to live their ultimate fantasy - 15 seconds at a time.

It’s hard to believe that Star Wars has been around for over 30 years and it still inspires millions of people to be… well, crazy.

I admit it, I’m somewhat of a fanboy too, but this latest incarnation of fan obsession just about takes the cake.

And it is also quite the business model.

A few enterprising folks decided to create the “ultimate remake” of the original classic by dividing the entire movie into 15 second scenes and allowing up to 3 people to pick a scene to recreate however they wanted. (I personally would pick anything involving Princess Leia in a bikini, but I think that would be an adult version of Return of the Jedi.)

ESM's scene. If it was available.

The results are pretty amazing.

if you haven’t had a chance to check it out for yourself, go to their official website at starwarsuncut.com.

"Get some sleep Pamela. You look tired." (cue techno music)

Raise your hands if you originally thought Matt Damon playing Jason Bourne was an iffy proposition. Now raise your hands if you wish you were actually Jason Bourne because Matt Damon played that role so well.

Dude, believe me my hand is still raised.

From the insane chase scenes to the more insane fight scenes using everyday objects as killing machines, the Bourne trilogy is one that every ESM man should have in his collection.  He’s got amnesia, is a killing machine and can turn any car into the fastest vehicle on the planet.

Unfortunately he has bad luck with the ladies.

I think the only thing I had an issue with was how old David Webb looked in the third movie versus the first movie.  But who cares – Jason Bourne kicks ass and I would love to have him on my side for any fight.

Unfortunately for us here at ESM, Jason Bourne has poor fashion sense.  That is why he will never make it as an ESM Icon.

Enough talking, let’s check out some video clips so you can waste more time at work:

For more information about Jason Bourne, you can check out his Wikipedia entry.  For more information about the Bourne trilogy, you can visit the official site online.

The Oscars. Rated NC-17.

The Oscars.  Another awards ceremony that you don’t really want to watch but do anyway.  To make things more interesting in our lives, we decided over a few shots of tequila what movie titles can actually double as porn titles.

Really.

The Blind Side
A romantic story about a janitor who inexplicably has an affair with the football coach.  In the dark.

An Education
An amazing journey of growth and youth set in downtown Riverside Junior College.  They both laughed, loved and loved.  And loved. And loved. And… loved. 

The Hurt Locker
The story of a mythical sex move that only a few have learned to master without killing their partner.  Think Blades of Glory meets Cirque du Soleil.

Inglorious Basterds
Set in World War II, these young Jewish-American soldiers stormed more than Normandy.

Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire
An eclectic collection of short stories about the dog from Silence of the Lambs set in the Sapphire nightclub in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Up in the Air
Really?  You need a synopsis for this one?

Fantastic Mr. Fox
The story of an older divorcee with a “furries” fetish.  He’s fantastic.

Princess and the Frog
The princess on the search for the ultimate Frog – the next evolution of the Rabbit.

Nine
The story of a man who wants to use all nine.  Inches.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
A coming of age story when Harry Potter meets the virgin Prince.

That’s right, we went there and we don’t care.  Not only does this article have no relevance to our core purpose as a business, it has no intellectual value.

We wrote it just because we could.

After watching Tron, let's try to get the high score on Ms. Pac-Man!

Waaaay back in ancient history, 1982 to be precise, before everyone had an iPhone or a gaming system, yes, even before facebook, there was a movie made named Tron.  Oh, you’ve heard of it?  It was a great science fiction movie based on the premise that there was some kind of an almost human power struggle inside your computer.

Beyond the killer storyline, it was a real game changer in the use of computer graphics.  They were definitely onto something with this one.  The visual stylings of director Steven Lisberger were cutting edge, dark, contrasty, and supercool. Here’s a little blast from the past for you.

I’m sure you’ve heard, but in case you haven’t, 2010 will bring us a new Tron. And from the looks of the trailer, this one is going to be pretty dang sleek. I for one am psyched to see how this classic is reworked.

I’ve got my 3D glasses on and I’m ready to go!

For more information about Tron Legacy, you can visit the official website here.

Heat. A true ESM movie classic.

You know a movie is a true ESM classic when the video game series Grand Theft Auto duplicates the bank robbery scene in one of its games.

The best bank heist getaway scene ever.

From beginning to end, Heat delivers pulse-pounding excitement and constantly builds the on-par rivalry between Robert De Niro and Al Pacino.  Who cares if Val Kilmer has a horrible haircut when he is shooting a semi-automatic weapon at LAPD in the middle of downtown Los Angeles?

Of course, even though this was one of the best movies, ever we here at ESM do not condone robbing banks or doing any other illicit activity.  According to Wikipedia, “The explicit nature of several of the scenes in Heat was cited as the model of a spate of robberies since its release. This included armored car robberies in South Africa, Colombia, and Denmark and a bank robbery (The North Hollywood Shootout) in North Hollywood, California.”

Yikes.

The showdown in Kate Mantelini. I tried sitting at this exact table wearing the same outfit so I could feel like Deneezy.

In any case, Heat is one of those movies you have to own for yourself.  You may even want to use some of the lines in the movie throughout your daily life, like:

The next time you have a showdown with your boss

Vincent Hanna: You know, we are sitting here, you and I, like a couple of regular fellas. You do what you do, and I do what I gotta do. And now that we’ve been face to face, if I’m there and I gotta put you away, I won’t like it. But I tell you, if it’s between you and some poor bastard whose wife you’re gonna turn into a widow, brother, you are going down.
Neil McCauley: There is a flip side to that coin. What if you do got me boxed in and I gotta put you down? Cause no matter what, you will not get in my way. We’ve been face to face, yeah. But I will not hesitate. Not for a second.

The next time you pick someone up at the airport bar

Eady: You travel a lot?
Neil McCauley: Yeah.
Eady: Traveling makes you lonely?
Neil McCauley: I’m alone, I am not lonely.

The next time you want to mind f%#k someone on the phone

Van Zant: What are you doing?
Neil McCauley: What am I doing? I’m talking to an empty telephone.
Van Zant: I don’t understand.
Neil McCauley: ‘Cause there is a dead man on the other end of this fuckin’ line

The last thing I would want to see in real life.

Oh man, can’t wait to use those lines in real life sometime.

For more information about the movie, you can check out the Wikipedia entry online.

Yep, that IS B movie queen Lisa Boyle.

For anyone that saw the movie Bad Boys, you know this car.  Built in 1994, the Porsche 964 Turbo 3.6 could go from 0-60 in 3.4 seconds, had a top speed of 174 mph and is extremely rare (there were only 63 built at the time).

Here’s a little excerpt about the Porsche 964 from Wikipedia:

The 964 was considered over 85% new as compared over its predecessor, the Carrera 3.2. The first 964s available in 1989 were all wheel drive equipped “Carrera 4″ models; Porsche added the rear wheel drive Carrera 2 variant to the range in 1990. Both variants were available as a coupe, Targa or Cabriolet. The 964 Carrera was the last generation sold with the traditional removable Targa roof. Later evolutions of the Targa, starting with the 993 generation, replaced that setup with a complex glass-roof “greenhouse” system. A new naturally-aspirated engine called the M64 was used for 964 models, with a flat-6 displacement of 3.6 litres. Porsche largely revised the suspension replacing the rear torsion bars with coil springs and shock absorbers.  Power steering and ABS brakes arrive to the 911 for the first time and they were both made standard. The exterior bumpers and fog lamps became flush into the car, allowing for better aerodynamics. A new electric rear spoiler raised as speeds above 50 MPH and lowered down flush with the rear engine lid at lower speeds or when stopped. A revised interior featured standard dual airbags beginning in 1990 for all North American production cars. A new automatic climate control system provided superior heating and cooling. Revised instrumentation housed a large set of warning lights that were tied into the car’s central warning system which alerted the driver to a possible problem or malfunction.

I think I would take mine in black.

The Turbos that were produced in 1994 were the last of the 964′s produced and were transferred to Porsche Exclusiv to create a very special Turbo 3.6s – the one used in the movie.

I did a little research on the car today to see how much it costs.  For anyone who owns one and takes good care of it, it looks like you can sell it today for about $150,000.  Not a bad investment.

I’m not sure if I would sell mine if I owned one though.

Mike Loooweerry. My name is Miike Looowery.

I think one of the qualifications for an ESM Icon is if Lil’ Wayne compares himself to you in his songs:

But I would like for u to pay me by the hOUr
And I’d rather be pushin flowers
Then to be in the pen sharin showers
Tony told us this world was ours
And the bible told us every girl was sour
Don’t play in her garden and don’t smell her flower
Call me Mr. Carter or Mr. Lawn Mower
Boy I got so many bitches like I’m Mike Lowry
(From A Milli by Lil’ Wayne)

If you haven’t seen the movies Bad Boys  and Bad Boys II, Mike Lowery is one of the main characters played by Will Smith. 

A rich kid turned narcotics police officer, Mike Lowery was well dressed (well, for his time at least), badass, got the hottest girls and drove the best exotics.  Too bad he couldn’t be himself throughout half of the first movie as part of the plot.

One of my favorite scenes from the movie Bad Boys is at the beginning when Mike Lowery and his partner, Marcus Burnett are driving around in a Porsche:

Marcus Burnett: Hey man where-where-where’s your cup holder?
Mike Lowrey: I don’t have one.
Marcus Burnett: What the f- w’you mean you don’t have one? Eighty thousand dollars for this car and you ain’t got no damn cup holder?
Mike Lowrey: It’s $105,000 and this happens to be one of the fastest production cars on the planet. Zero to sixty in four seconds, sweetie. It’s a limited edition.
Marcus Burnett: You damn right it’s limited. No cup holder, no back seat. Just a shiny dick with two chairs in it. I guess we the balls just draggin’ the fuck along.

For more information about Mike Lowery and the movie Bad Boys, check out their IMDB and Wikipedia entries.

You think we need one more? We need one more.

Ocean’s 11 is one of those movies that I appreciate more and more every time I watch it.  The outstanding cast, writing, directing and cinematography make it an instant classic.  The best part – it’s set entirely in Vegas.  Now what could be better than a high budget heist movie set in Vegas?  Not much.

Also – since we talk about men’s style on this website, check out the suits that each character wears.  The good ones, such as the one Saul wears walking into the Bellagio, are timeless and classic.  Whoever the costume designer was a genius.  They had double breasted suits featured when the movie was released in 2001.  For anyone who knew the style of the times that year, no one was touching double breasted suits at all.  They only made a recent comeback over the past few years.

Although there were 3 movies that came out, the original Ocean’s 11 was the best in the series.  Let’s enjoy some clips below: