FEATURE: Manti-matter
This feature is due in part to me seeing someone in a restaurant ordering food – on a Segway. Make no bones about it, I HATE Segways. It’s the epitome of laziness – if you can do it on a Segway you can do it on your legs, bro. Seriously.
So in turn, I wanted to write a quick feature of things that make my skin crawl and reduce a man’s man-ness: manti-matter. Here are the items that are on the top of my list:
- Segways
- Cats
- Tassles
- Man-bags
- Rollerblades
If the thought of owning these things ever crosses your mind, just do yourself a favor and slit your wrists so you never do it again.
To create Essential Style for Men, mix 2 parts petrol, 1 part secret agent, 1 part rock and roll, 1 part hip-hop and a shot of tequila in a shaker with ice and vigorously shake for 20 seconds. Pour into a martini glass rimmed with explosives and have a supermodel serve for all your friends to enjoy.
