Mmmm, yeah dude, you can't afford an exotic. Image from homework4dummies.com.

I know what you do in your bathroom. 

You read Robb Report, Road & Track and The Dupont Registry.  You check and see how much the cars are and which one you would buy if you had the money.  You decide whether you should get a used Gallardo or a brand new R8. 

Well let me tell you: you can’t afford it and you shouldn’t buy it. 

To be clear, it’s not because of the incredible car payments or the hefty insurance fees.  A lot of people who purchase luxury exotics by stretching their annual budget usually find out too late that a lot more goes into acquiring and maintaining that fat Lambo, Ferrari or Aston. 

Here are the top 5 reasons you (and I am talking about you, not mega-billionaire Richard Branson) should not go out and buy that luxury exotic: 

Reason 5: You will have to make the choice between either making rent or making your registration payment
Do you have any idea how much it costs to register a luxury exotic?  For anyone that has ever owned one, it costs roughly about $1,000 for every $100,000 you spend.  If you have to “figure out” how you are going to make that payment, don’t buy the car. 

Reason 4: They are as uncomfortable as a pair of underwear that are 2 sizes too small
Unless you are buying yourself a Bentley GT, you’re probably buying a car that is built to be very similar to a race car: low to the ground and unforgiving on the joints.  The cars ride like they are on rails, but make sure you stretch before and after you take a luxury exotic out for a spin. 

Reason 3: You can’t fit golf clubs in them
My neighbor used to have a Ferrari F430 Spider.  He also used to play golf.  If you ever want to watch something entertaining, try watching a guy try to fit his clubs into the trunk of his Ferrari.

I know it's wrong. I know it's wrong. But why when I look at you, it feels so right?

Reason 2: You’re entire lifestyle changes in terms of spending
It’s kind of embarrassing to pull up to a McDonald’s with your Gallardo.  You also don’t really want to park at your local Wal-Mart.  Tip for the Valet?  Easily $10.  You don’t want to look like a cheap ass mofo driving a car he can’t afford (even though it’s true).

Reason 1: Luxury exotics shouldn’t be your main mode of transportation
Even though people say some luxury exotics can be daily drivers, they shouldn’t be your primary mode of transportation.  They’re uncomfortable, not very roomy and you’re probably stressing about where to park your ride everywhere you go.

So the next time you think about buying that luxury exotic, try diverting your focus on getting out of your mom’s basement first.

One of the rooms in the Tides South Beach. Image from tidessouthbeach.com

I’m embarrassed to admit I showed up really late in the game when it comes to realizing how awesome Miami is.  I guess that’s what I get for growing up without a lot of money and living in L.A.

For most east coast folks, I’m sure Miami is just a common vacation much like Vegas is to L.A.

But enough about how sucky my life was before I knew about Miami and more about the Tides in South Beach.  Known as “The Diva of Ocean Drive”, the Tides is a fantastic boutique hotel that (as most boutique hotels are) boasts amazing service, upscale design and a very intimate atmosphere.

You know you're in South Beach when you stay in a room like this. Image from tidessouthbeach.com.

From the moment you arrive to the moment you leave, every person at the Tides makes you feel special.

If that isn’t enough, you’re on world-famous Ocean Drive, a short walk to the ocean and in the heart of South Beach.  Oh, and did I mention a killer happy hour?  ($2 drinks at 2 pm, $3 drinks at 3 pm, $4 drinks at 4… you get the picture.)

The cabana at the pool (although you're going to spend most of your time at the beach). Image from tidessouthbeach.com.

So the next time you are thinking about heading to Miami, please make sure to book a room at the Tides.  I guarantee you are not going to regret it.

Insider tip: when you arrive at the Tides, get the inside scoop from their concierge.  They will be sending you to all the places the trendy, upscale locals go to.

For more information, you can visit them online at http://www.tidessouthbeach.com.

This is a pretty cropped photo of their front entrance. If you plan to do happy hour at the Tides, this is the place to do it. Image from tidessouthbeach.com.

The Breden Forged C04 on a white Aston Martin V8 Vantage.

My favorite pastime at 4:00 pm at work?  Looking at wheels.  Looking at nice cars.  Looking at wheels on nice cars.

It’s kind of like an automotive erotica.  (Well, now that I think about it, automotive erotica might mean something else.)

Whatever the case, I’m always on the lookout for some sick wheels on some badass rides and the Breden Forged C04′s on this white Aston Martin V8 Vantage are so sick, it makes me feel like throwing up.

For more information, you can check out the official Breden Forged website here: http://bredenforged.com/breden_forged.html

I think the valet is going to like this one.

The Ray-Ban Caravan. Man.

What’s this??!?  A Tuesday post?  When was the last time we had a Tuesday post from the guys at ESM?  Forever!!

Anyway, I wanted to feature these badass Ray-Bans I found while I was tooling around in Lenscrafters.  Actually, I was trying to score some free contacts, but that’s a story reserved for another day…

What makes these sunnies so cool?  I’ve seen the Caravans before, but they didn’t blow my mind the first time I saw them.  These pair, on the other hand, looked fantastic because of the color choice of the lenses and that cool little leather thing at the bridge.

They are so cool, in fact, that you should forget I even mentioned them in the first place.

I am the only one allowed to have it.  No one else can be as cool as me.

For more information, you can view them online on the official Ray-Ban website: http://www.ray-ban.com/usa/products/RB3415Q/003-n8

Zegna is looking pretty good for being 100 years old.

You learn a few things from being in business for 100 years.

You learn how to turn a profit, how to run your business and how to last through the ups and downs of every type of economy. 

Ermenegildo Zegna did all of that (and then some) with a true sense of style.

To commemorate their 100 years, they are releasing their Centennial Collection – a classic and beautiful collection of clothes, accessories and shoes.

One of the most notable pieces is the Centennial Suit made from an updated version of “Fabric No. 1″ – the original fabric created by Ermenegildo himself in 1910.

According to the Zegna website, the original fabric weighed in at about 500 grams per meter.  Now, with 100 years of experience and technology, the updated fabric weighs about 270 grams per meter.

For more information about the Ermenegildo Zegna Centennial Collection, you can visit the official Ermenegildo Zegna Centennial website at http://www.zegnacentennial.com.

Valentino Balboni and his namesake Lamborghini Gallardo LP 550-2 Valentino Balboni.

A man’s life is measured by what he does during his time on earth.  On occassion, there are men whose time on earth make such an impact on the rest of the world, their heritage lives on through people, places and things.

One day, I hope to be that type of man.  More specifically, I would want to be either James Bond or Valentino Balboni.

James Bond’s heritage?  A boatload of movies and millions of boys wanting to grow up to be like him.

Valentino Balboni’s heritage?  Not much – just the most popular Lamborghini test driver ever from whom streets and Lamborghinis are named after.

Here’s a little excerpt from his Wiki:

It's the beard that makes Valentino Balboni go so fast.

Balboni started working for Lamborghini on April 21, 1968 as a mechanic apprentice in the company. Eventually he was personally asked by the founder of the company, Ferruccio Lamborghini, to test-drive the newly built cars. Together with Bob Wallace, they became the test-driving team of Lamborghini. Valentino Balboni has reportedly driven about 80% of all Lamborghinis ever built; among the marque aficionados, Balboni has risen to cult status. In 2008 Balboni was still active for the company as the chief test-driver and ambassador: he often appeared at different Lamborghini-related events, like the unveiling of new models. In July 2009 Lamborghini announced a special edition run of 250 Gallardo LP550-2 “Valentino Balboni edition” supercars; the company stated that the new car was to be rear-wheel driven in accordance with Balboni’s preference for the thrill of cornering a rear-wheel driven vehicle.

Balboni, even though officially retired as chief test driver, has signed a two year contract with Lamborghini as a consultant through 2010 that can be renewed multiple times.

The Bell & Ross Vintage BR 123 and Chronograph BR 126. Image from blog.watcheslux.com.

I am a total sucker for luxury items that look vintage and use modern technology.

More recently, I have been seeing a lot of ads for the Bell & Ross Vintage BR 126 and BR 123 from their Heritage Collection.  “Heritage” meaning it looks like it came out of WWII and “Vintage” meaning the watch collection it comes from.

Since I am also a sucker for chronographs that I never use, my preference would be to purchase the BR 126.

Released during this year’s Baselword (I still need to snag myself tickets to that show somehow), these watches are the epitome of understated cool.  Just pair the watch with some aviators, a vintage bomber and a Porsche speedster and you’ll be rolling around like you know what you’re doing around an airplane.

And don’t worry – we won’t tell anyone you’re afraid of heights.

For more information about Bell & Ross and their timepieces, you can visit them on their official website.

The Ritz Carlton in Jamaica

Ahh, the Ritz Carlton in Jamaica.  Beautiful grounds, amazing rooms, and fantastic food… what more could you want?  Every-ting irie, mon!  Well, the whole point of traveling to an amazing destination is to take advantage of the local scene.  In Paris, you have to see the Eiffel Tower and eat french fries with mayonnaise.  In Australia, you go to the Great Barrier Reef, and drink a Victoria Bitter (NOT a Foster’s!).  These days, with all inclusive destinations and hotels that have everything you could ever need, we may forget to go outside and sample the true local culture.  Does that mean that when you are in Mexico you should sip tea with the drug cartels?  No.  Or be as risky as to eat chicken that is being cooked on the street in Manila?  Not unless you want to lose 10 pounds, the wrong way.  But definitely get out there to a local watering hole and mingle with the locals.

I thought it was warm in Jamaica! Hello, local!

I was asked what the best part of my trip to Jamaica was.  The answer was an easy one.  Learning Jamaican slang from a group of locals.  It was great to find out about these people and laugh and ask questions and make new friends.  So next time you are contemplating a massage in the spa, go to a house party instead.  Otherwise, you could have just stayed home.  Bon Voyage!

So much hotter now than when she was in Coyote Ugly.

So here’s a great idea for a TV show:

• Get the hot girl from Coyote Ugly (Piper Perabo) to be the main character
• Dress said girl in sexy business outfits
• Get the producers from the Bourne Trilogy to produce the show
• Have the show be based on the CIA
• Have a lot of shooting and action scenes

Voila!  You now have USA’s latest show, Covert Affairs.

Here’s a little excerpt from the show’s official website:

She may be new to the government’s most secretive branch, but 28-year-old Annie Walker (Piper Perabo) has the uncanny instincts, tenacity and persistence that could make this girl-next-door a lethal weapon. Although her first mission unexpectedly ends in a hail of bullets, Annie doesn’t get flustered or second-guess her new career path when the Agency unexpectedly promotes her to field operative. If anything, it has made her more determined to be good at her job and see her assignments through.

Does everyone in the CIA look like this? Image from usanetwork.com.

If you haven’t had a chance to check the show out, make sure to set your TiVo or DVR to record Covert Affairs.  I promise, it will be worth it.

Drai's at the W Hotel, Hollywood. Image from hotelchatter.com.

I love Vegas. 

Unfortunately, unless you are a billionaire (see: Travie McCoy), you probably can’t go there every weekend and rock it out like a rock star.  If you live in L.A., not many clubs can compare to the beautiful venues in Las Vegas because all the Las Vegas clubs are found in hotels which make a ton of money from their gambling revenue.  These clubs have to match the unique needs of the same high-end clientele willing to spend some money for a good time.

Thankfully for us in L.A. craving the Las Vegas experience without having to spend the entire weekend in Las Vegas, the folks who created XS (at the Encore) have also created Drai’s at the W in Hollywood. 

I have to say, these guys know what they are doing.

Now imagine this place with a lot of beautiful people. And you.

From the upscale decor to the beautiful people working there, I think Drai’s is my new favorite club in L.A.  Having a large group of Asian girls in tight miniskirts helped the cause as well (just for eye candy, of course).

Now, when I want to get that Vegas feeling, all I have to do is get bottle service at Drai’s and spend more money than I should on one evening.

Too bad there aren’t any craps tables on the ground level.  That would make it perfect.

For more information about Drai’s at the W in Hollywood, you can check out their official site online.