The Rolex Explorer II. So ice-cold.

Sometimes, the best answer is the simplest one.

Much like my pseudo-Chinese-proverb statement above, the Rolex Explorer II is an exploration into the simplest of designs which hit the mark for subtle awesomeness.  You don’t always need to have a chronograph (that you will never use) nor do you need that white gold finish to make your timepiece distinctive.

There are times when all you need is a sublime elegance to make the biggest statement. 

Well, that and about $5,000.

For more information about the Explorer II, please visit the official Rolex website.

Tom Ford sunglasses featured on Quantum of Solace.

Remember when you were a kid and you just had to have all the accessories for your G.I. Joes?  The hovercraft, the boat, the tank, the guns and all the other paraphernalia made everything just so – complete.

There was no way Snake Eyes was going to go into battle without his sword.

The same is true now that you are much older and wiser.  Instead of Captain Hawk and Duke, your new heroes are ones that wear nice suits and have a license to kill like James Bond and Michael Westin.  Instead of the nun chucks, your accessories are now Aston Martins and Brioni suits.

In essence, James Bond (a.k.a. you) is not going to go into battle without his incredibly expensive spy gear.

Sometimes the most overlooked spy-related equipment can be in the sunglasses department.  Why is this gear so important?  Two reasons: 1) you can’t shoot down that fighter jet with your anti-air missle if you are aiming at the sun and 2) you can’t check out that super hot double-agent without having some cool sunnies to cover your eyeballs.

My personal two favorites are the sunglasses that were featured in the latest James Bond installment Quantum of Solace and the ones always found on Michael Westins face in the TV show Burn Notice.  Although the ones used in Quantum of Solace are designed by Tom Ford, they’re actually both manufactured by Oliver Peoples.

Check them out below:

Tom Ford FT0108 sunglasses featured in Quantum of Solace. Make sure you get them in semi-matte rhodium frames and smoke blue lenses to stay legit.

Oliver Peoples "Victory" sunglasses. Do 'em in cognac - just like Michael.

For more information about Oliver Peoples, please visit their official site.  If you’re on the hunt for the James Bond specs, try doing a search on Google and you’ll find a ton of them for sale.

Ohhhhh, SNAP! Where'd you get those shoes?

Sneakers, kicks, shoes, call them what you will, but separate yourself from the pack, man. I love mine. I don’t have Air Force 1’s. I don’t throw away my classic white K-Swiss because they’ve got a mark on them. But I do take my shoes seriously. I shop around and try to find something that I’ve never seen before. I have a pair of green K-Swiss imports that make me proud. I have some everyday Y-3’s that look like they were intended for the World Cup when I am kickin’ it.

If you need a little help getting your sneaker game up, you can start at UNDFTD. They have a few locations in L.A., one in Vegas, and a couple more in Japan. And if you can’t make it in person, you can shop online at http://cart.undftd.com/.
They have lime green shoes, denim, patent leather, ultrasuede, high tops, low tops, Reeboks, orange, retro, futuristic, and they will most certainly have something that moves you.
“got blue and black cuz I like to chill, and yellow and green when it’s time to get ill” – Run-DMC, My Adidas

Don Julio margerita with freshly squeezed limes from Habanero's.

Who says a margarita is a woman’s drink?

Your mom does?  Well, obviously she hasn’t been to Mexico where margaritas are a staple alcoholic beverage for men, women, locals and turistas alike.

They’re great drinks when you’re sitting by the pool checking out all the middle aged hotties make out with each other.  They’re also great drinks when you want to take a little vacation in the middle of your work week (not your work day – that would make you an alcoholic).

To make the best margaritas, you must have the best ingredients.  Fresh limes and top shelf tequila like Don Julio or Patron Silver set the standard for margaritas that will turn your ordinary day into a fiesta.  Please also make sure to always, always do the proper measuring when making yours:

Blended?  With salt?  How about ordering the next one with a little awesome and let the good times roll.

Muy bueno!

"Okay, cue the models! Play fancy Mariachi slow sexy music! Lighting! Where the hell is my PA?"

Have you ever heard of “adults-only” all-inclusive resorts?  Do places like “Hedonism, Secrets and Temptations” sound familiar? 

Don’t worry, this isn’t your girlfriend testing you.  It’s a serious question.

If they sound vaguely familiar, just check out one of your adult or men’s magazines.  You’ll invariably find an ad for these resorts tucked in there somewhere either in the back or in the margins.  There will be a picture of an incredibly beautiful couple sitting alone at an incredibly beautiful locale.

At some point in your life, those ads had to have piqued your interest.

I’m also sure that visions of playboy models lounging around the pool filled your mind – with lots of yummy barbeque ribs and alcohol. 

Most men, including myself would probably agree:  if the “all adults” hotel lived up to your fantasy, it would be the perfect vacation for any self-respecting single man.

Now let me get you back to reality.  You know, the real world where everyone doesn’t look like a 36-24-36 supermodel?  It’s the same world where these “adults only” resorts try fill their occupancy rates to 80% or more.

Surprise!

We’re writing this article to give you an insider’s view of what really goes on in these resorts, by listing 5 common myths associated with them:

Myth 1: The resort is going to be secluded and empty.
Sorry, much like any other resort, these adults-only venues are still hotels that want to maximize their occupancy for maximum profits.  If they can double people up in rooms and charge each of them full rates, they would.

Myth 2: Going solo is the way to go.
Wrong again, Maverick.  A lot of these places are usually booked by couples and you won’t really have a chance to meet other singles.  You would be better off just going to a regular hotel to score.

Myth 3: The resort is going to be filled with 20-30 year olds.
Try multiplying that age range by 2.  Now try thinking about everything that goes along with that new age range: kids, grandkids, horrible eating, lack of excercise…  It’s definitely not the playboy mansion by any means.

Myth 4: Nice tatas.  Lots and lots of nice tatas.
Although a lot of these places have “tops optional” policies, not every female is going to go with the topless option.  Oddly enough, the ones that go with their convertible open usually have really old cars.

Myth 5: People having sex everywhere.
You’ve been watching too much Skinemax there bud.  These hotels are still public places and having sex in public places in most cities is still considered a crime.

Now you’re probably asking yourself: “Why should I even bother going to these places in the first place?”

Although a lot of the original reasons to visit those resorts have probably been blown out of the water, an adults only resort is definitely good for:

• Couples interested in meeting other couples (s.w.i.n.g….)
• People who want to be in an “adults only” atmosphere with “adults only” people
• People who are interested in tossing out their inhibitions with the bath water

As for me, it definitely wasn’t my speed.  I just felt dirty sitting in the 25 foot hut tub with 50 year olds making out with each other.  Yes, 50 year old people making out with each other.

It took a 20 minute shower in rubbing alcohol and antibiotics just to help me feel respectable again.

John Daly in Loudmouth's Pazeltine pants

Psst.  You.  Yeah, you.  The one wearing the khakis that look like cardboard.  I’ve got a story to tell you.  A while back when I was in a Niketown store I came across some of their golf attire.  I saw a short sleeved shirt in a killer color and a great fabric.  I bought it.  I wore it.  The reviews were rave.

Golfers need clothes that breathe.  They need clothes that are not restricting.  And when golfers hit the club to hook it up with random girls at a bar and lose millions of dollars in endorsements, they need it to look good.

The beauty of golf attire is that it can also be worn to golf in!  I love the old school pictures of dapper looking chaps hitting the links.  It looks like a gentlemen’s game.  It looks cool.  That used to be the style on the course.

Loudmouth golf brings their own brand of crazy style to golf attire.  The choices can go from classic to extreme, and with names like Shagadelic or Evel Jeans you can be pretty sure to get noticed.  Your next trip to Pebble Beach, or just to the local bar, throw on your ‘Disco Balls’ Loudmouth pants and get your game on.

Fooooore!

My balls are glowing!

Obscura Digital is tripping balls.  Pool balls, actually.

They’ve invented a gadget for the ultimate millionaire gearhead or an acid trip’s worst nightmare: the Cuelight Interactive Pool Table, which allows users to control digitally enhanced images displayed on a pool table. 

Want to dip your balls in water and see what it looks like when you hit them together?  You can do it with this system.  Want to fire them up and see them them trace across the table before they hit a hole?  Simple as flipping a switch.  Want to reveal a picture of yourself in that oh so sexy Versace mankini you purchased last year in Venice while your guests are playing?  Our advice – use the picture of you photoshopped with Gwen Stefani instead (more street cred).

Check out the video below if you don’t believe me.

So what kind of money does it take to change the way your balls look with the simple configuration change?  About $200,000.  If you’ve got that kind of money to throw down, let me know because we can definitely get a party together fairly quickly to admire your new purchase.

And no, I don’t care if you already heard about this system in 2009.  It’s still cool.

Now if they can only invent a bed with the same technology….

For more information about the CueLight Interactive Pool Table System, you can visit their official website here.

What can I say? I'm an ass man. Lamborghini Estoque

I stayed in a hotel in Sardinia that had a fleet of Maserati Quattroportes. They would come and go in pairs, and that little convoy would invoke imaginings of international espionage, or a fine art museum heist. In reality they were most likely just taking guests and their families to and from the airport. Which brings me to the utility of the 4-door exotic.

As sexy as a coupe is, it is somewhat limited in its’ scope. I need space to pack away my bulletproof vests and sniper rifles, much less my Adidas shell toes. The 4 door exotic is fast, extreme, and still refined. She’s not a 21 year old supermodel, she’s the mid to late 30’s, well toned woman that knows what she wants. She wants to ride. They may be referred to as a 4 door saloon, and they separate themselves from the Bentleys and Jaguars with their breeding. They are born of supercar performance, and adapted for comfort, as opposed to the other way around.

While some of these offerings are available, the others are only concepts. We can only hope that Lamborghini proceeds with plans, and Ferrari comes up with one of their own.

I know that it’s not easy, it’s an addiction.  The gum tastes funny, and those patches are not a good look when you are on the beach in Monte Carlo.  Alas, there is a stylish way to help you kick the habit.  Blu is a new brand of electronic cigarettes.  There is no tar, no tobacco, no ash, and no smell.  When you inhale, the blue light at the tip illuminates, and then you exhale vapor.  They still supply nicotine in varying levels if you want it, or you can go nicotine free if you are ready.  You can smoke them anywhere.  They look like a cigarette, taste like a cigarette, and feel pretty identical to a cigarette, but they’re not.  Take them on the plane, smoke them in a restaurant, shucks, I don’t even smoke and I may buy some.

If you want to know more, check out their website: http://www.blucigs.com/

The basic Sprinter, for the 'low key' celebrity types.

Mercedes Benz is known as a purveyor of delicious automobile candy here in the states. But beyond our borders, they are known also for making super-compact cars, trucks (as in semis), and even tractors. One of their more utilitarian pursuits is the Sprinter. It is basically a box on wheels, ready to join a cargo fleet in Europe, or serve as a production vehicle in Australia. It’s a blank canvas that, with a little imagination, can become something pretty cool.

From Becker, just like mom's minivan.

The strip club comes WITH us

I’ve seen them hauling celebrities out to the clubs, or used as an alternative to flying, albeit for shorter trips. There are plenty of customization options, and plenty of customization houses to consider.  Becker Automotive Design will make you wonder why you need to check into the Ritz with their interiors.  Midwest Automotive Designs converts your van into a first class travel experience. Landjet is a bit more focused on the business minded, while Chalmers Automotive is perfect for those who want a little more recreation out of their vehicle.

Next time someone laughs at your van, you can sit back and smile, relax, take another swig of that cocktail, send a fax, and let the driver worry about traffic.