I used to try to be cool.  Growing up, you say the right words, wear the latest fashion, and hang out with the cool crowd.  That’s what you do when you’re a kid.


Whassup? The Dalai Lama. That is one cool dude.

As I got older and learned a few things and saw some new places, my attitude changed.  I realized that the coolest people that I knew were the ones that tried the least.  They did their own thing, and weren’t bothered too much with the opinions of other people.

One commonality between all of these people is that their confidence transcended money, appearance, possessions, or geography.  You may feel pretty cool if you can roll around town like a big shot, but how cool are  you just being yourself?  That brand of cool comes from an understanding of who you are, and defining yourself by what you do.  

Cool people are rock stars when they go to the grocery store.  They are nice to people.  Yeah, they have issues like everyone else, but they aren’t controlled by them.  They have a certain zen-like feel, and seem to be comfortable in any situation.

If you need a little inspiration getting there, you could try a book called Your Erroneous Zones, by Dr. Wayne Dyer.  You’ll be colder than a polar bear’s toenails in no time at all.


Richard has been in the Essential Style for Men mix since its inception in 2009. When he isn’t busy serving as the ESM’s Director of Fashion & Style, you may find him on the beach playing volleyball, or working hard in Thailand shooting with a beautiful Brazilian supermodel.