Mmmm, yeah dude, you can't afford an exotic. Image from homework4dummies.com.

I know what you do in your bathroom. 

You read Robb Report, Road & Track and The Dupont Registry.  You check and see how much the cars are and which one you would buy if you had the money.  You decide whether you should get a used Gallardo or a brand new R8. 

Well let me tell you: you can’t afford it and you shouldn’t buy it. 

To be clear, it’s not because of the incredible car payments or the hefty insurance fees.  A lot of people who purchase luxury exotics by stretching their annual budget usually find out too late that a lot more goes into acquiring and maintaining that fat Lambo, Ferrari or Aston. 

Here are the top 5 reasons you (and I am talking about you, not mega-billionaire Richard Branson) should not go out and buy that luxury exotic: 

Reason 5: You will have to make the choice between either making rent or making your registration payment
Do you have any idea how much it costs to register a luxury exotic?  For anyone that has ever owned one, it costs roughly about $1,000 for every $100,000 you spend.  If you have to “figure out” how you are going to make that payment, don’t buy the car. 

Reason 4: They are as uncomfortable as a pair of underwear that are 2 sizes too small
Unless you are buying yourself a Bentley GT, you’re probably buying a car that is built to be very similar to a race car: low to the ground and unforgiving on the joints.  The cars ride like they are on rails, but make sure you stretch before and after you take a luxury exotic out for a spin. 

Reason 3: You can’t fit golf clubs in them
My neighbor used to have a Ferrari F430 Spider.  He also used to play golf.  If you ever want to watch something entertaining, try watching a guy try to fit his clubs into the trunk of his Ferrari.

I know it's wrong. I know it's wrong. But why when I look at you, it feels so right?

Reason 2: You’re entire lifestyle changes in terms of spending
It’s kind of embarrassing to pull up to a McDonald’s with your Gallardo.  You also don’t really want to park at your local Wal-Mart.  Tip for the Valet?  Easily $10.  You don’t want to look like a cheap ass mofo driving a car he can’t afford (even though it’s true).

Reason 1: Luxury exotics shouldn’t be your main mode of transportation
Even though people say some luxury exotics can be daily drivers, they shouldn’t be your primary mode of transportation.  They’re uncomfortable, not very roomy and you’re probably stressing about where to park your ride everywhere you go.

So the next time you think about buying that luxury exotic, try diverting your focus on getting out of your mom’s basement first.

ESM

To create Essential Style for Men, mix 2 parts petrol, 1 part secret agent, 1 part rock and roll, 1 part hip-hop and a shot of tequila in a shaker with ice and vigorously shake for 20 seconds. Pour into a martini glass rimmed with explosives and have a supermodel serve for all your friends to enjoy.