Dammit - dropped my watch in the fish tank again! Honey, where's the net?

This latest rendition of the Seamaster series from Omega is sturdy, hardcore and built for the true adventurer.

Now, the only question left to answer is why the hell did they call it the “Ploprof”?  It’s name is reminiscent of the sound your poop makes when it hits the toilet water. 

In reality, the watch actually got its name from the French term “PLOngeur PROFessionnel” as the team of developers of the original 1971 Seamaster Ploprof were French speaking.

Ah, the French. 

Did I ever tell you the story of this short Asian French chef who kept saying “French House Music rules!” all night?  Remind me sometime to erase that from my memory with a rusty pocket knife.

But I digress.

In any case, the Omega Seamaster Ploprof 1200m is a beautiful piece of horological technology.  It is so amazing, in fact, that it allows users to go down to 4000 feet below sea level!  And to think – the deepest most of these timepieces will probably ever go is under the water line of a sink in a 5-star hotel.

What’s that little thingy on the side of the case, you ask? 

It’s a big button that releases the bezel.  The button is big because you have stubby little Hobbit fingers when you are wearing diving gloves.  If you really thought about it, you wouldn’t want to be diving a-la James Bond and your watch tell you there’s an hour worth of air when there was only 5 minutes, now would you?

To make the story of your watch seem much, much cooler, you can also tell the ladies the button just blows shit up.  They won’t know the difference.

For more information about the Omega Seamaster Ploprof 1200m, you can visit the official Omega website

And please, for the love of God, do not get the steel bracelet.  It’s just plain ugly.  Like your sister.  (Just kidding about the sister part.)

ESM

To create Essential Style for Men, mix 2 parts petrol, 1 part secret agent, 1 part rock and roll, 1 part hip-hop and a shot of tequila in a shaker with ice and vigorously shake for 20 seconds. Pour into a martini glass rimmed with explosives and have a supermodel serve for all your friends to enjoy.